I have a boyfriend who grew up with me.
His name is Jin.
I always thought of himas a friend until last year,
when we went to a trip from a club.
I found that Ifell in love with him.
Before that trip was over,
I took a step and confessed mylove for him.
And soon, we became a pair of lovers,
but we loved each otherin different ways.
I always concentrated on him only,
but by his side, therewere so many other girls.
To me, he was the only one,
but to him, maybe I was just another girl.
"Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?
"I asked.Jin : "Ican't.""Why?
You need to study at home?"
I felt disappointment grabbingme.
"No, I am going to meet a friend.
"He was always like that.
He metgirls in front of me,
like it was nothing. To him,
I was just a girlfriend. Theword "love"
only came out from my mouth.
Since I knew him, I had never heard him say
"I love you" before.To us,
there weren't any anniversaries at all.
He didn't say anything from the first day
and it continued till 100 days,
200 days.Everyday, before we say goodbye,
he would just hand me a doll,
everyday, withoutfail. I don't know why.
Then one day...Me: "Um, Jin,
I..."Jin: "What?don'tdrag, just say..
"Me: "I love you."Jin: "you...um,
just take this doll and go home.
"That was how he ignored my three words
and handed me the doll.Thenhe disappeared,
like he was running away.
The dolls I received from himeveryday,
filled my room, one by one.
There were many...Then one day came,my 15th year
old birthday.
When I got up in the morning,
I pictured a party withhim, and stranded
myself in my room, waiting for his call.
But ...lunchpassed, dinner passed...
and soon the sky was dark he still didn't call.
Itwas already tiring to look
at the phone anymore.Then around 2am in the
morning, he suddenly
called me and woke me from my sleep. He told
me to come outof the
house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.
Me: "Jin..."Jin: "Here...take this...
"Again, he handed me a little doll.Me:
"What'sthis?"Jin: "I didn't give
it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now.
I'm going home now, bye.
"Me: "Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
"Jin: "Today? Huh?"
I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday.
He turned
around and walked away like nothing had happen.
when I shouted..."Wait...
"Jin: "You have something to say?"Me:
"Tell me, tell me you
love me..."Jin: "What?!"Me: "Tell me.
"I put my pathetic self behind and
clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.
"I don't want
to say that I love someone so easily,
if you are desperate to hear it, then find
someone else." That was what he said. Then he ran off.
My legs feltnumb...and I collapsed to the ground.
He didn't want to say it easily...How
could he!.I felt that... Maybe he is not the right guy for me...After
that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying.
He didn't call me,although
I was waiting. He just continued handing me a
little doll every morning
outside my house.That's how those dolls piled up in my room...
everyday After a month, I got myself together and went
to school. But what
made the pain resurface was that... I saw him on a street...
with anothergirl...He
had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me...
as he touched the doll... I ran straight back home and looked
at the dolls in my room,
and tears fell... Why did he gave these to me??
Those dolls are probably
picked out by some other girls. In a fit of anger,
I threw the dolls around.Then suddenly, the phone rang.
It was him. He told me to come out to
the bus stop outside my house.
I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus
stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him,
that it's going to
end.Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Jin: "Jo, I thought youwere pissed, you really came?
"I couldn't help
hating him, acting like nothing
had happen and joking around. Soon,
he held out the doll as usual
Me: "I don'tneed it."Jin: "What?.why?
"I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on
the road.Me: "I don't need this doll,
I don't need it anymore!! I don't want
to see a person like you again!
"I spitted out all the words that were inside
me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.
"I'm sorry..." He apologized in a tiny voice.
He then walked over to the road to pick up the
doll...Me: "You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?!
Just throw it away!!!"Bu he
ignored me and just went to pick the doll.Then...
"HonkHonk!
"With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
"Jin!
Move!Move away!" I shouted....But he didn't hear me, he
squatted down and picked
up the doll."Jin, move!""HONK!!"*Boom!* That sound, so
terrifying.That's how he went away from me.
That's how he went away
without even opening his eyes to say one word to me. After that day,
I had to go
through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him.
And afterspending two months like a crazy person
I took out the dolls.
Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out.
I remembered the days I
spent with him and started to count the days- when we were in
love.."One...two... three..."That was how I started to count the
dolls..."Four hundred and eighty four... four hundred and eighty
five..."It all ended with 485 dolls.I then started to cry again, with a
doll in my arms.I hugged it tightly, then suddenly...
"I love you, I loveyou"I
dropped the dolls,shocked."I...lo..ve..you??"I picked up the
dolls and pressed its stomach."I love you I love you"It can"t be!I
pressed all the dolls' stomach as it piled on the side.
"I love you""Ilove you"
"I love you"Those words came out non-stop."I love
you"Why didn't I realize that???.
That his heart was always by my side,
protecting me.Why didn't I realize that he love me this much...
I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it's stomach,
that was the last doll, the
one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it.
The voice came out,the one that I
was missing so much...."Jo...Do you know what today is?
We've been loving each other for 486 days.
Do you know what 486 is?I couldn't say
I love you..... Um... since I was too shy.
If you forgive me and take this doll,
I will say that I love you.. Everyday...till I die.. Jo...
I love you!"The
tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked
god, why do I only know abou
tall this now?He can't be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute.
For that.. and for that reason... to me..... it became courage... to live a
beautiful life...
Found in other ppl's bl0qq .
Touching story =(
